Balance
by WannaBet2
Summary: Hux and Kylo Ren have understandings, a strange somewhat friendship that somehow works. Ever since they'd met, it had been Hux's unwanted job to take care of the boy, however hard that may be. This is a Force Awakens, friendship story. No slash. Comment story prompts and they may be written. Warning: May contain spoilers.
**This is my first Star Wars fan fiction, and I've only seen the First Awakens like, twice, so if you're looking for perfect accuracy... This probs isn't the story for you. Please note, this is a friendship story, and there will be no romance, so if that's what you're looking for... Once again, this probs isn't the story for you. Still, I hope you enjoy it!**

 **Also, this includes some of my own personal theories, and maybe some spoilers, so tread carefully. Not all of this is canon, and some of it might be canon you haven't heard yet. If you haven't watched the movie... Why are did you click an obvi Force Awakens fan fic? XD**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars at all or the characters and don't profit from this fan fiction.**

Hux began working for the Supreme Leader when he was seventeen, older than most. The Supreme Leader liked to involve younger children, to raise them from a young age in his tutelage. Hux, as one of the older students being taught, was immediately in a position of power. After years of training, he soon became a powerful figure, a colonel of the First Order at the age of twenty three.

And that was when he'd met Ren. Kylo Ren was the apprentice of Supreme Leader Snoke, fifteen when Hux had first laid eyes on him. He was lanky, with dark hair he'd kept long even then, and he was a thorn in Hux's side. From the moment Supreme Leader Snoke introduced them, it had been made abundantly clear that they were to work together, and more than that, it was his job to take care of the boy.

Ren was an explosive, emotional wreck. A 'Force sensitive' boy that was previously a Jedi in training before he had been captured, and had spent the last several months in training. He was the Supreme Leaders favorite, but Hux didn't dare feel jealous, considering he wasn't entirely sure he _wanted_ Snoke to take any interest in him. He was old enough to realize what Ren's 'training' consisted of, old enough to recognize the fact that Ren was taken from his family, that he was trying to get used to a new name, to a new life. Unlike Hux, who was an orphaned child from Castell with no connections, Ren was broken hearted over coming into this life and leaving behind all he'd known.

Hux had hated watching it, the obscene show of emotional dependence, as the Supreme Leader's new favorite screamed his throat raw in trainings just to be a sniffling puddle of tears the next day. Hux figured that such behavior would be washed out of the apprentice, and awkwardly assisted in what ways he could. He was never one for sympathy, however, and though he'd made up tea for the boy's throat and had learned to carry handkerchiefs to make sure no one saw the embarrassing tear-streaked face of Ren but himself, Hux was with Ren like he was with others. Harsh, real, cold. It was trained within him, as he was a colonel that was quickly rising to the rank of general, and he thought it would soon be trained into Ren as well.

However, Ren never seemed to break like others had. Even upon being sent on several missions, killing with fierceness, and wildly growing in the dark ways of the Force, Ren was a shipwreck of out of control anger, pain, grief, and fear. The boy grew taller and stronger, cloaked in dark, foreboding things and his young face covered in a mask. He was the face of the First Order, now, the co-captain of the forces with Hux himself. Ren was the feared, evil, shadow that the younger training troopers shied away from in terror. But he was still screaming, still throwing fits and rampaging, still crying from the force of his emotions.

And Hux… Grew all too used to it. He and Ren had understandings. Hux had explained how things would work to the boy when Ren had only been sixteen. On the deck, at work, they were to adhere to certain standard. They were 'general' and 'lord' and they held themselves rigidly, and they were professional, cool, collected soldiers. In front of the Supreme Leader, they were strong, but willing, servants. They did what they were told quickly and without complaint, and they stood tall in the face of whatever training they went through. Only when they were alone was a small- a very small- amount of other things, more emotional things allowed. Only when they were alone were they allowed to forgo titles, or discuss issues, or get into spats. Only when they were alone could they express pain or joy, and they could never, ever, admit to the fact that they did.

Of course, Ren was terrible at adhering to these boundaries. It was infuriating, to pass by the boy in the hall and be greeted by his name rather than his title, simply because Ren either forgot once again or couldn't be bothered. Ren also made it a point to fight with him in full view of their soldiers, and to indulge himself in his emotional reactions, angrily tearing things down or wrecking up Hux's ships with his lightsaber. It made Hux roll his eyes, and that just seemed to make it worse. Ren was a childish, overly emotional boy who craved attention, and when Hux fell into the trap and responded by getting angry or upset himself, yelling or demanding Ren change his ways and learn to control himself, it just made Ren even more likely to go break something else.

In front of Supreme Leader Snoke, however, Ren did conform to the rules. In front of the Supreme Leader, Ren and Hux were the same. Underlings, servants. It was chilling, with that looming presence so high, curling over in his seat to look at them like they were ants. And the power of Snoke was so strong that even though they saw nothing but a hologram from a far off person, Hux could almost _feel_ the Force in swirling tendrils around them. He knew that Ren felt it even more powerfully, that simply being in such an environment made him feel crushed with weight, and when they'd leave, Hux made it a point to not talk to him and give him time to collect himself. When the Supreme Leader was upset with either of them, these visits were dreadfully uncomfortable. When Snoke was upset with Hux, the general would stand straight and attempt to think of nothing, while a growing pressure in his head and lungs made him feel like he was dying. He would clench his hands until his nails dug into his skin and he bled, and then Snoke would release him and he could breathe again, though he never dared talk after getting punished. The worst thing about that was that when Ren was there, the boy would watch, he'd look at Hux and tilt his head, looking thoughtful, a touch confused, and just a little worried.

But Snoke didn't punish Hux as much as he punished Ren. Ren's punishments could not be avoided, because the punishments were all about Ren's lack of control and his failings, although if Ren was too calm or did things too well, he was apparently 'succumbing' and was too peaceful. And Hux didn't entirely get that, because they were supposed to do good jobs, and all encouragement he could've given Ren in passing for doing his work well and with no explosions of temper was destroyed in the punishments that followed. Punishments such as being pushed to the floor, and ending up screaming for no reason that Hux could see. Ren would claw at his own face, screaming continuously while crying tears of pain, and would rock back and forth and call out for help, and at those times Hux could see that his sensitivity to the Force was a curse. The worst thing about that was that Hux could not do anything. The Supreme Leader was never to be questioned, he was never wrong, and the punishments were confusing, but needed. So he would stand by silently, trying to ignore and forget the pleas spilling from Ren's mouth among the sobs and choked screams. And then Snoke would finish, and disappear again into nothingness.

And Hux was left to gather Ren back together, to sigh and get the child off of the ground and dry his face. Ren would easily compose himself once he got the mask on, like a toddler with a security blanket, and he'd stride through the halls with Hux as if nothing had ever happened. Only when they reached Ren's chambers and the mask came off again did Ren seem hurt and desperate to get it right next time, to grow stronger. He'd get so tired, and complain that 'this time it hurt more' every single time. And Hux would sigh, wondering how being General of the First Order included watching and caring for whiny children who couldn't stop earning themselves punishments.

Something frustrating about Ren was that, if he was hurt physically, mentally or emotionally, his response was to hit himself. Whether Ren wished to make the pain less or more was a mystery to Hux, but it was a strange habit that honestly tended to worry him. Simply because with such an overly sensitive boy who pushed himself in training so much, Ren ended up hitting himself quite a lot, because there was so much that pained him. At first, when Ren was still so young, he'd hurt himself over things like crying or for missing his family, and Hux had even caught Ren taking his own lightsaber to his arms because he felt so terrible for doing something- Hux had barely made it out with Ren's blubbering's- about a girl he knew on a desert or something. As he got older, Ren hurt himself over failed missions or misunderstood orders, or even when someone would say the wrong thing, although he still did burn himself over his old family, sometimes.

However, Hux supposed it was useful, at times. It at least alerted him as to when Ren was in a bad mood or when he should watch what he said. And it also gave him what he shouldn't say, when comments he'd casually made had led Ren to quickly hit himself in the shoulder, as if it was an instinctual response. Hux supposed that after learning all vulnerability was worthy of pain, Ren had simply got in the habit of carrying it out and punishing himself. Or perhaps that, while learning that pain drove the anger that fueled him, Ren wished to make himself feel _more_ hurt to help himself get more powerful.

More than a help, however, it was a hindrance. The boy was altogether too harsh on himself, and he had wounded himself too severely on several occasions. Hux became rather sick of going to get Ren and finding him unconscious, or gasping for breath with his hands covering some new wound. Especially when the boy would look up at him and say things like "It won't stop, Hux…" Looking at him with sad, brown eyes and a pleading expression. Sometimes he looked just like the fifteen year old Hux had first met, who had never used to look him in the eyes. And Hux didn't suppose it mattered in the long run whether or not Ren wished to beat himself, but it irked him for reasons he couldn't explain. So it was with a newfound annoyance that Hux learned to reach out and grab Ren's hands quickly before telling him something that might hurt him, and it was twice as effective, because when Hux was holding his hands down, Ren couldn't hurt himself _or_ Hux's ships.

It was kind of strange, the way their lives worked, in coordinance with each other. It had been almost ten years since Ren had joined Supreme Leader Snoke, and in that time, they had created such a perfect arrangement. Of course, Hux didn't _like_ looking after the troublesome boy, but it certainly made his job interesting, and it made him more capable of dealing with other humans and with his troops, since he knew exactly how to handle children from his time with Ren.

And it was easy to see that Ren relied on him, trusted him even. Hux was one of a few people who would now see Ren without his beloved helmet, and Hux was also perhaps one of two people in the First Order who knew something of Ren's backstory. To most, Ren was just like Hux, just an older apprentice who now existed as a ruling figure, who had come from nowhere and nothing and went on to become their leader. Hux was the one who had found Ren under stairways and holed in corners in the darkness of night, who had scolded the child and led him back to his rooms. He was the one who Ren had confessed to, that his parents were Rebels, that he wasn't sure what he thought of them, that the Supreme Leader told him they hated him. Hux was the only one who knew of that girl in the desert, as far as he knew. Neither he nor Ren so much as thought about it in the presence of Snoke, but the Supreme Leader knew much, even what he wasn't told, so there was a chance it was known by their master.

And all this was life, for them. The two fearless, cold, commanding chiefs of the First Order had to have a working relationship, and that included tea and training, dark nights and early mornings when Hux sometimes had to literally drag Ren out of his rooms to get him to work. That included the occasional smiles they couldn't help for stupid things neither of them got, and quickly checking their surroundings to make sure no one saw before going on in their day. That included dealing with Captain Phasma and the troopers and acting as though they didn't sort of wish they were them, so they as well could forget their pasts. And that included days of pain and suffering, and stumbling to their rooms while hoping no one saw. The understanding looks, the sighs of exasperation, the knowledge that they could be thrown aside any day for the Supreme Leader and the other would just carry on.

All these things were understood. It was how they had worked before, and it was how they were going to work, and nothing could change. Because if the slightest thing changed, that meant their way of life was thrown, and if the delicate balance of their way of life was thrown… They might just lose their battles. All their battles.

 **So there it is. Expect more, because I'm gonna write more. If you'd like any of the little mentioned things in this fic explored, comment and I might write it. And if you have your own little prompts for Ren and Hux friendship, please suggest it. This is WannaBet2, signing off.**


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